Keep cool with the past, not fetched you a present [op-ed]

przeszłośćIf there are you such days, When everything is in order, and then all of a sudden breaks?
Although on the outside, nothing has changed, in the Middle we feel totally different. Has become something, You can not call and suddenly zapadamy deep in yourself. It's hard to say, what upset us out of balance. Some sound. The Smell Of. Random sentence. Something so trivial just, We will once again find themselves in his private hell of suffering, fear and despair. Everything happens so fast, the man doesn't even know, as there was a. And sometimes has the feeling of fall in slow motion, which can not be stopped.
What causes such a reaction? Everyone is sensitive to something else, especially those, who as a child had been abused or zaniedbywani in one way or another. Me just such a breeze as the smell of chalk and cartons of milk. View small folding chairs, similar to those, where we were sitting in the first class  . Crying baby in the store. View angry parent, Toddler drawing by parking.
Sometimes any of these things may have to strike me out of balance. All of a sudden I feel scared and lonely, I lose touch with reality. Call it a sudden onslaught of childhood. In the blink of an eye will stop to be adult, collected person. I become vulnerable and scared, i do not understand why. A therapist, who once worked with the Veterans of the Vietnam war, He told me, that adults, who as children were abused or zaniedbywani, may be suffering from post-traumatic stress. Over the years we carry in itself harm from childhood, Which one, like shards of, making their   way inside the body, to get out of it.

Formerly I needed multiple days, to return to a State of balance. At this time, I went to work, dinner gotowałam, been with child and usiłowałam function normally, Although in the middle of the felt so, If I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Even one drop of, and a pitcher of bitterness and przelałby would be the only pool of tears. Childhood is taking toll on all of us. Most of the people was from this period few wounds is small enough, that are rarely irritated, and then quickly and easily heal. Others have the psyche of a lunar landscape full of deep craters, left behind by the mentally ill relatives or teachers, domestic violence or fisticuffs and fury of parents, who, as children, too, were abused by someone or zaniedbywani.
Serious cases rarely intriguing us with legs. Serious cases can be discerned from a distance and avoid them. If you see or hear the approaching train, get the tracks and keep him from afar. It's little things you stick in the ground. It, you will not see, until you look in the rear-view mirror.

One day, as usual, wjechałam to the garage. My husband, that was in the driveway, said, I shifted a little car. Usłuchałam. But still something does not fit.
-Do Not, still a bit-he insisted.
I was able to smile and move the car or give him the car keys, that same perfectly parked. Instead, I felt, How overwhelmed me sudden fury, If the fire, very short fuse huge bombs. BUM! Suddenly, again, I was a child. Why do I have to be perfect? Why I am never quite good? What I do is I try to? But instead of explode, usually tłumię rage. Instead of screaming and Madden, close and cry. Old tears. I Feel, that flow from another source in my Interior. It pains me to face, flashing me Bay, and after all I have to go to sleep. The incident with the car? After a few hours I was able to find in the memory of the situation, with whom I associated. I'm standing in the driveway of parents. Dad wants to, I helped him put the TV into his station wagon. The TV is heavy and bulky, and I do not know, as the dad I have to move and push in a small space, which I pointed out. I grab his half of the TV and wsuwam it to the car. He tells me to move it to the back of the. How to rewind? I do not know, What is expected from me. Then begins to scream at me. My Dad or silent, or screaming. I do not know why, but rapidly passed from master to rage. His fury is almost always accompanied by   these words:
-Bloody hell, What is wrong with you? If you do not you do so, as it should be?
He cried out, then them in the driveway, While holding the TV. I couldn't let go of it and walk away, so I've gotten there, and Dad on me wyżywał. Not once did I heard an apology. I have never admitted, that   has a bad day or worse moment.
Over time I've learned to go out of the hole. First, it should be noted, that is trapped in the. Here is my warning signal: When my emotions do not match current events, I know, It is   about childhood. I've learned to stop this moment, completely if I was shoved out the button "pause" on the film. Then I tell myself: "As Soon As, as soon as the. Whether it is a response to it, What is happening now, whether it is   about the past? I can't change the past. But by changing your reaction to her crumbs, can I change the present ".
A therapist showed me a great method of defense against childhood. Take a sheet of paper. Write on her evidence, that you are an adult and you deal with life. Save your age, level of education, scientific titles, post, skills, such as driving and educating children. Save, You can vote and do other things, that make adult people. When you feel, that balansujesz over the precipice, remove the card and read it. Zakorzeń in the present, focus on an adult, which you are today, instead of the child, where you ever. It will help you recover the ground under the feet of. On the other side of the sheet save got its rescue team. Replace the friends, to which you can call at the time of crisis, to help you get out of the hole. Select the next people, These, who love you the most, as you are. Ludzi, who do not przestraszą your dark side. Ludzi, who wiPeoplelp you get out on the surface. Change the way you think about yourself needs work, But if you succeed, everything in your life will change for the better-especially najintymniejsze compounds. If you do not make this difficult task, still you have to deal with the past and find the worst characteristics of your MOM and your dad in each partner. By changing the way of thinking will not get rid of wounds from childhood  , but you stop them rozdrapywać. My friends were in favour of the me therapy history:
One night a drunkard comes out of the bar and on the way home falls into a deep hole on the road. Not able to get out of it. A passer-by pushes to the center of the Bible, He quotes a verse from Scripture, to add the imprisoned hope and leaves. The therapist stops and tries to help you understand pijakowi, why at all fell into that hole. In the end, his cries she hears an alcoholic zdrowiejący.
-Can you help me? -exclaims the man from the ditch.
-Probably! -corresponds to the sober and jumps to the Center.
Drunk hollering:
-Oh no, now they are stuck in the ditch!
Sober smiles and responds:
-Do not worry. I was already here. I know, How to get out of here. We go together. It's not just about it, to avoid this a hole from a distance. Nor is, to quickly escape from it. The point is, to overwhelm, so that no one not to hit. What can I fill it? God. In other words,, love: love to each other, love for others, love for God. When was the last time wydostałam with a hole under the title: "I'm not good enough", praying: "How   I believe, I'm quite good?”. In the back of my mind I heard a quiet answer: "Help others believe, they are pretty good ".


By Regina Brett “God never blinks



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  • PoCoMiNick

    Amazing hit article. I just find myself in this “attacking childhood”. A saleswoman at the store ignored my kind words and the ground crumbled to me under your feet. However, the problem is, that I can not “identify the” sources in the past – Surely this has to do with a rejection of me by my “the mother of the”. But I do not know specifically what it hurts… well, Perhaps the time will come, It's a uświadomię. I would like to thank you for this lady very text. Although the heart hurts me further, I felt a little bit better. I will next time tried with this list of things, which prove my adulthood! Best regards, Kamil

  • Arti

    Bosh, Article from X 2014 and one comment ?
    Why only now here I came ?!
    Thanks, and hold the(CIE) This course….
    Ps. From 'dziurą’ Nice upgrade.

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